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The Congressman On The Airplane

Received via E-Mail:

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the congressman. “How about global warming , universal health care, or stimulus packages?” as he smiled smugly.

“OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet, a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don’t know shit?”

And then she went back to reading her book.

http://www.allvoices.com/

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2011 in Miscellaneous

 

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The Economy Is So Bad…

Received Via E-mail…
.
The Economy is so bad…

  • Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
  • I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
  • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
  • I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
  • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • My ATM gave me an IOU!
  • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  • I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
  • I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
  • If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • McDonald’s is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  • Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.
  • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
  • Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you anymore.
  • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  • They renamed Wall Street ” Wal-Mart  Street .”
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
  • One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally…I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
 
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Posted by on October 18, 2010 in Economy

 

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